Every week Kevin publishes his very own “Kev’s Column” online, this week he takes a look at proposals to create a specific Criminal Offence of Domestic Abuse.
The old playground rhyme of “Sticks and Stones will break my bones, but names will never hurt me” does not reflect the reality for many who feel trapped in an abusive relationship.
I therefore welcome news that the Government has launched a consultation on changing the criminal law to create a specific Domestic Abuse offence that includes coercive behavior, not just physical violence or the threat of it.
When thinking about this subject many of us will have the image of an abusive relationship as one where a visibly thuggish man hits a weaker Wife or Girlfriend. Yet in reality many relationships that seem perfect from the outside can have a more sinister aspect to them behind closed doors. It is also wrong to think that financial or work pressures will be behind such actions as homes wealthy in cash terms, may suffer a real poverty of love and respect.
Having worked in a Criminal Law Practice it is safe to say no-one has “Rapist”, “Violent Psychopath” or “Abusive Partner” written on their forehead. Many will appear attractive and charming, that is how they lure their victims in. Some figures indicate up to one in four women experience an abusive relationship during their lifetime. That means we will all know someone involved in one, despite many thinking they do not.
Some will ask why victims do not just leave their abusive partners. If such behaviour appeared on a first or second date we would all just get up and walk out. Yet like with other crimes the offender will slowly make the victim feel more reliant on them emotionally or financially, gradually increasing the level of abuse or violence. This will usually be accompanied with mind games to make the victim feel responsible, even though from an objective stand point there is no justification for what is happening.
In essence abusive relationships are very similar to the old analogy of the frog being placed in a pot. If it is put straight into boiling water it will instantly leap out, but if the water is cold to start with it will remain in place as the temperature gradually increases. You can read more in a thought provoking piece on the Guardian website written by a survivor of such a relationship by clicking here.
Some time ago I realized that a good friend was in such a relationship. Whilst there was significant violence involved over a long period, the scars of which she still bears, the behaviour that most affected her was the constant verbal abuse and degradation. She was made to feel worthless, inferior and in her own words “Brainwashed” into feeling that it was all her fault.
It was only through the support of friends that she felt able to go ahead with leaving her partner and starting a new life. This had its costs in financial terms as she had to start paying a mortgage again, having already worked to pay one off during her marriage, and emotionally as some family and colleagues could not envisage there was a Mr Hyde behind her former Husband’s Dr Jekyll.
The exact wording of changes to the law that will follow this consultation will require careful scrutiny and discussion in Parliament to ensure that cases can be successfully prosecuted in court. Yet even before a case is brought the passing of it will help to bring about a culture change about how we view what is criminal behaviour in an abusive relationship.
In any relationship there will be disagreements and the odd cross word. That is not being made an offence. The new law will deal with those who set out to manipulate and control their partner via a mixture of threats and emotional abuse similar to the tactics used to break Prisoners of War by ruthless interrogators.
The new offence will ensure that those who perpetrate abuse against their partner which leaves emotional scars that last a lifetime face punishment for their premeditated actions, just like those who use sticks and stones to inflict a physical wound that may heal much more quickly.
If you would like to take part in the consultation you can click here to be taken to the relevant section of the Home Office website.
For clarity the law will be gender blind, despite press headlines describing it in a way that indicated it may only apply to male offenders.